A fifth grade boy walks into the office after recess looking for the school nurse.
"Is the nurse here or at lunch?"
"She's eating lunch now. Why do you need her?"
"I have wood chips in my underpants."
(this is me now talking to myself - okay, you have to dig in now. you can't smile. you can't laugh. it is funny, but you must not laugh!!! speak now, but don't laugh.)
"Can't you just go to the boy's room and empty them out?"
"No. They are literally in my underpants!"
And then he sits down.
(okay, get up and go out the back door and get the nurse before you lose it)