I may do a lot of griping about my job, but there are some times when I am forced to hold back the laughter and handle the situation at hand. Especially with the students.
For instance when -
The bell is going to ring in 10 minutes and a chubby little 3rd grader with frizzy blond hair and pink glasses comes into the office and stands in front of my counter with a lovely turquoise shoe in one hand and the heel in another -
“The nurse said she can’t fix this and I should come to the office.”
And I, trying not to laugh, because I’m not sure what the nurse wants me to do about it, invite the child around to the back of my desk and we proceed to go through my desk looking for something that will fix this shoe. I find tacks and staples, paper fasteners, and paperclips, and each time she shakes her head and I can see that this is so not funny to her. We finally decide that the way to go is with masking tape. I pull off a couple of pieces long enough to secure the heel to the shoe at least, we hope, long enough to get home. We agree that we have just invented “Shoe Band-Aids”.
Or when -
Fourth grade recess is just about over and the nurse brings in a student, 4th grade boy, with an ice pack on his ear. She tells him to go around the counter so he can tell me why he is here to see the principal –
Dead serious and without a tear he says, “There’s this girl in my class and she’s been yelling at me and poking me and I’ve been putting up with it until now. This time she went too far and tried to pull off my ear.”
And definitely when -
One of the fifth grade classes is having a “healthy snack” party that they earned for something or other. The teacher calls and says he is sending one of the girls to the office to see the principal. She has been picking up the boys in the class – that is grabbing them and lifting them off the floor. When she gets to the office she marches up to the counter and tells me that she’s here to see the principal. He is in with a teacher so I ask her to sit down and wait.
Minutes go by and she asks me if he knows that she’s here to see him. I tell her that he knew she was coming. Ten more minutes go by and she’s been fidgeting the whole time. When I tell her to stop the fidgeting she jumps up and demands
“Well I want to know just who he’s in there with and if he knows that I’m missing my party!”