Friday, October 30 - Rambling On

I may only be a school clerk, but I am a damn good one.  I should be - I've been doing this job for 5+ years now and I've worked in the school system for over 20 years.  I'd just like to know why people feel the need to tell me how to do my job assuming that I haven't done it. 

Case in point - a note from a STUDENT AIDE telling me to please add the new student to the class roster - two weeks after he started.  She did this because his name had to be written in on the attendance sheet.  

Hello STUDENT AIDE the reason his name is written in on that sheet is because it was printed before he started.  Don't you think that I know there's a new student!!!!  I registered him!!!!  I made sure that there was a desk in the room for him!!!!   I got him a student agenda!!!!!   I informed the school staff by e-mail that he was starting school two weeks ago and that we should welcome him!!!!!  I've been doing this job for 5 years and I don't need little post-it notes from you telling me what to do!!!!!

Said note coming on the day we were celebrating Halloween.  Yes, I was going to be a witch, but I'll trade the w for a b right now.  Do your own job. 

Same aide last week asked if she could have an "adult chair" in the classroom because using a student chair bothered her back.  Not having any additional "teacher chairs" we, the secretary and I, suggested that temporarily she use a folding chair (adult size) until we could check with the principal about getting her a chair. 

Before he even walks into the office, STUDENT AIDE stops him and tells him her need for an "adult chair".  She tells him that she asked us for one and that we don't have one.  Never relates the suggestion we made.

Hey sweetheart, do you really think that your having a chair is the most important thing to bombard him with when he comes in the door!!!  You told us and we'll relate your predicament to the principal - we really will.  We know how to do our job.  Do your own job.

Change the w to a b again.

And since I'm reminding people what their job is - this one is for the SCHOOL NURSE.

We're in the middle of a nationwide medical crisis.   If you have a student report to you that has thrown up during lunch or has a fever - YOU sit with him in YOUR office and wait until his mother gets here before you take your lunch.  I am not a nurse, I am not a babysitter, and anyone who is actually sick should not be sitting in the front office possibly exposing everyone who walks in to their sickness!!! 

That's a big B.

Whew, that felt better.  Wanna see what made me smile this week? 

One of our teachers' husbands came back from a business trip to Japan and brought back these delicious cookies that she shared with us.  I thought it looked like it was smiling.   Wasn't she sweet to make sure that we got one from the box she put in the faculty room. 

Now, ask me what kind of Halloween treats were shared with us after we delivered all the cookies, brownies, cupcakes, fruit, yogurt, candy, etc. to the classrooms yesterday for their parties?  ONE teacher saved us a cupcake.  And yes, I did eat it.  After fielding phone calls all day about the time the Halloween parade started, answering the doorbell for parents delivering party goods, and getting stupid post it notes from STUDENT AIDE, I needed a cupcake!

Friday, October 23 - Custodial Mail

The head of our district custodial department has his office in a garage behind our building, therefore all his mail comes through our office.  Part of my job is to put the mail in the assigned mailboxes.  We really had fun with this one:

Friday, October 16 - Under the Bus

Getting thrown under the bus - I'm beginning to hate that phrase.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think we can thank reality TV for it.   I've been accused of throwing one of my teachers under the bus.  Not to my face, mind you.  But word gets around quickly.

My job during fire drills is to stand in the main lobby across from the office and monitor the exits that are visible from that position.  I have a walkie-talkie in hand which I use to communicate to the principal who, with the custodian, has tripped the alarm and is monitoring the back exits of the school.  When everyone is safely out of the building we turn off the alarm and give the classes time to line up outside before calling them back in. 

We are required to have two fire drills a month and the exit from the building must be done within a certain amount of time.  Every classroom is assigned a particular exit so that we can clear the building as quickly as possible.  With that in mind, when the principal comes back in he usually asks for the time and if there were any laggers or problems.

During our last fire drill I was positioned in my normal place.  I checked the rest rooms and cleared them before we pulled the alarm.  I noticed that there was a teacher who was coming toward me who should have been going out another exit.  She had four students in tow, literally holding them by the hand and dragging them down the hallway and out the door.

When the drill was complete and the classes came in I checked the fire exit map in the office and it clearly showed the teacher had taken the wrong route.  But, I felt I needed to check the exit map in her room before I said anything as I am responsible for putting those maps in the room and I thought it might be possible that I had made a mistake. 

I knocked on her door and asked to check the map and said that I thought she might have used the wrong exit.  She explained that she was looking for a student that she had sent to the office and I left the room.

On the way back to the office I met up with the principal and, as he usually does, he asked how things went.  I explained to him what had happened and he said he would talk to the teacher.  You don't go looking for anyone during a fire drill - you exit the building at your assigned exit as quickly as possible unless it is blocked. 

This happened two weeks ago and she is still telling people that I "threw her under the bus" with the principal and that I should apologize.  Oh, and she's not speaking to me either. 

I've been in a school when there was a real fire and I take these drills very seriously.  There's no room for deviation or debate.  No one but the principal, the teacher and myself would even have been aware of his talk with her if she hadn't made it a point to tell everyone. 

Tell me if you think I'm wrong, but I don't think I should apologize for doing my job.

Friday, October 9 - Who's the Wise Guy?

A third grade student walks into the office and says to the teacher....

I need something for dry skin.

What does this look like, a pharmacy?


You need the nurse.


You know how I knew that?


I have ESP.

(he looks confused now)

Do you know what ESP is?


It means I can read your mind.


By the way, how is your teacher today?

............without the slightest hint of hesitation and a twinkle in his eye............

Read my mind.

Sometimes I love my job!

Friday, October 2 - Notes From Home

My e-mail to the staff today:

Good Morning Team CSI B........g,

I received a note in the basket this morning written in purple ink on one of the Note To School forms:

To: Main Office

From: Ellen alkjdglksajnl;skjd;lksaj

Date: 10/1/09

Subject: Intramurals (where the small print asks for the student name!)

The box “OTHER” is checked with the following note:

“will not be continuing the intramurals”

I have no idea of the HR, the student, or the parent.